Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
