she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
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