ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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