So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
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