found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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