the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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