so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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