Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
