Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
