I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
