Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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