He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
