My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
