THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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