so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
