I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
