I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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