Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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