the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
