Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Is Oprah even human
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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