It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
