Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize