the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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