guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Acid is not a monday night drug
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
