Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
cat food counts as protein by the way
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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