I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Congratulations! We have a period
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