dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
