I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
