can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
