You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
