You're so nebulous sometimes
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
