We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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