he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
