Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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