I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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