Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
