the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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