Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
