so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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