YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
