Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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