don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
