im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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