No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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