someone get that fucking seahorse.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
vagina is talking i cant
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
