Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Randomize