he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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