Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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