Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
