there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
