I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
