JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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