she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
