i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
