I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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