we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
