No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
