Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
He? As in you personified your dick?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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