After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
