i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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